Black Names for Black People
Just a brief, lighthearted post today. Why write about blacks' ridiculous names? Because they're funny.
I got this idea from listening to my secretary. She used to work for the Florida Department of Revenue doing intake interviews for Child Support Enforcement. One day she was interviewing a 19-year old black welfare mother of three. Two of the children's fathers were already in the system, but the most recent baby's daddy was not. So, my secretary was entering the information into the computer. She asked the black girl for the infant's name. As usual, it was an unintelligible garble of words. After a few minutes of spelling and "say again" etc. the data was entered: Orion Je'Croix Brown. My secretary asked the girl about the names - why do that to a kid? Well, "Orion" is a star in the sky, said the girl, and "Je'Croix" is French for "I believe." And Brown was the baby's daddy's name. So after all that crap and with such an obnoxious, important sounding name you've got another black welfare baby that's going to grow up as O J Brown. That's it.
Blacks' names are getting more ridiculous every day. More important sounding. And the more poor, low class the black is the more obnoxious, fancy, or ridiculous their name is. Black egos know no bounds. It's incredible. And it's so funny because blacks are so worthless to society that really they don't need names. Why bother?
I want to help. I want to change blacks' names and give them names they deserve. You know, names that reflect blacks "contributions" to culture and society. So here goes.
For girls: Instead of Laquita, name the black baby girl Chlamydia. Instead of Tyesha, name the black baby girl Typhoid. Instead of Shaquiria or Shanequa, name the black baby girl Salmonella. Yes, I know some of these new names are already used for diseases. But these names sound important and exotic, and they would be accurate names for black welfare babies as blacks are parasites in human society anyways.
For boys: Instead of Nigel, name the black baby boy Inmate. Instead of Cornelius, name the black baby boy Convict. Instead of Leroy or Lamar, name the black baby boy Larceny. Yes, I know these names are part of the criminal justice vocabulary. Definitely fit names for blacks.
So I hope you enjoyed this post. And maybe you learned something. If any of these names are too difficult to pronounce or hard to remember you can always rely on the name they all answer to: Nigger.
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